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BOOKER THE HOOKER

Cory Booker’s Filibuster Circus: A Lesson in Hooking

Typically, a hooker is someone who stands on a corner, hoping someone will take notice and pay them for sex. A hooker doesn’t need brains—just the ability to produce some fake moans and groans. There’s a Democratic Senator from New Jersey acting like a hooker, but with a twist. He, too, is a paid-for body, only he’s working in the opposite direction: putting out fake moans and groans in hopes that someone will pay attention. 

Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) has turned the Senate floor into his own street corner, clocking over 21 hours of non-stop showboating as of Tuesday afternoon, April 1.

Booker the hooker is moaning and groaning out a bunch of anti-Trump catch phrases in the most lame attempt ever to stop the MAGA agenda. He is also rallying against Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency, and anything else he can pin on the GOP bogeyman.

Booker kicked off this marathon prostitution game Monday night, vowing to go “as long as I’m physically able” — sorta like a hooker at a bachelor party. And by golly, the brainless Democrat is still turning tricks at the time of this publication — the money must be good. Maybe this is a party thrown by George Soros? 

The Democrat Party has no leader — it is in the tank according to polls on CNN — the Party has never ranked lower. I think Booker sees this as his moment — an opportunity to be named as the second coming of Obama. But it’s a futile effort — everyone knows a hooker fakes the moans and groans.

Let’s call it for what it is — Booker is fueled by his desire to get another 15-minutes of fame. His first came a few years ago when he unsuccessfully tried running for president in 2020. No matter, the lefty media is gushing over his “remarkable stamina,” calling it a historic flex of Democratic resistance. The rest of us (a.k.a. people with brains) — we know this is all about theater, not governance.

Booker’s beef? 
Booker the hooker says he’s pushing back against Trump’s cuts to Social Security offices, Musk’s efficiency schemes, and wild-card fears of “annexing Greenland and Canada.” He’s reading constituent letters, dropping Langston Hughes quotes, and leaning hard into the left’s favorite scare tactic: the social safety net’s about to collapse! Never mind that Republicans swear Social Security’s untouchable—Booker’s painting a dystopia where Trump and Musk are twirling mustaches and cackling over Granny’s pension. Why? Because Democrats, out of power in both chambers, are desperate to signal they are “doing something” to their frustrated base. This filibuster’s less about policy and more about optics—a sweaty, hoarse Booker is taking one for the team on a livestream — may as well watch this one on the YouPorn website.

What’s a filibuster? 

It’s a Senate tradition where a lone senator can gum up the works by talking endlessly, delaying or derailing legislation. The word comes from the Dutch “vrijbuiter” (freebooter), meaning pirate—fitting, since it’s essentially hijacking the floor. Originally, it wasn’t even in the Constitution or Senate rules. In 1806, the Senate axed a motion-to-end-debate rule by mistake, leaving the door wide open for endless gab. It took decades to catch on, but by the 19th century, it was a weapon of chaos.

Back in the day, filibusters were raw, gritty affairs. 
Picture Sen. Huey Long (D-LA) in 1935, reciting Shakespeare and recipes for 15 hours to stall FDR’s New Deal. Or Sen. Robert La Follette (R-WI) in 1908, holding the floor for 18 hours against a banking bill, nearly dying when a poisoned eggnog (yes, really) was slipped to him mid-speech. The granddaddy of them all? Sen. Strom Thurmond (D-SC) in 1957, who ranted for 24 hours and 18 minutes against the Civil Rights Act—still the record Booker’s chasing. He prepped with steam baths and stashed candy bars in his pockets. That’s commitment.

The filibuster’s original vibe was pure liberty: one voice, no matter how outnumbered, could stand against the herd. It was the ultimate middle finger to majority tyranny. But over time, it morphed. By the 20th century, it became a tool for obstruction, especially in the South, where segregationists like Thurmond wielded it to block civil rights. The Senate finally tamed it in 1917 with Rule 22, letting two-thirds of senators vote to shut it down (cloture). That dropped to 60 votes in 1975, but the damage was done—it lost its rogue charm and became a procedural game.

Modern filibusters?
Mostly flops. Take Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) in 2013—13 hours against drone strikes. Badass, sure, but it didn’t stop the policy. Or Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) in 2013, reading Green Eggs and Ham for 21 hours against Obamacare. Fun, but futile—the law passed. Successful ones are rare now, thanks to cloture. The last big win was in 1986, when a bipartisan crew filibustered Reagan’s apartheid sanctions veto override into the ground. Old school? Think 1850s, when filibusters killed bank charters and tariff bills—real stakes, real results.

Who’s used it more?
Democrats have a slight edge historically, especially during civil rights battles. Republicans, though, have owned it lately—think 2021, stalling Biden’s voting rights push. The record’s still Thurmond’s, a Democrat-turned-Republican, proving it’s less about party and more about stubbornness. Fun fact: Sen. Wayne Morse (D-OR) once smuggled a briefcase of sandwiches into a 1953 filibuster—22 hours—and still lost. Dedication doesn’t always pay.

Booker’s stunt…
Odds are he will break the record, or come damn close. He’s got buddies like Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT) tossing him softballs to keep it rolling, but it’s not changing votes. This is all about Booker the hooker trying to reignite his irrelevant presence on the Democrat’s lonely corner. He is trying to make himself the Pretty Woman of D.C. hookers — but he just doesn’t have the moans and groans of Julia Roberts. Nobody will remember this moment — especially during election season.

The filibuster’s a ghost of its former self: once a pirate’s sword, now a prop for grandstanders. Liberty’s better served by action, not monologues. Maybe next time, Booker will appear as an AI avatar instead of a hooker — it would be far more steamy. NOTE: Speaking of AI… Please be sure to support our newsletter by opening it every day, and by visiting our ad partner below.

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